NO (even though you prolly will anyway)
Oldies but Awesomzies
Funburn (noun) [fuhn-burn]: overexposure to enjoyable experiences, or “fun,” that leave your body pink and sore to the touch.
Best places to get “funburned”
- Valleyfair/Six Flags, or anywhere you can buy a fanny pack specially made to keep your cotton candy, chapstick necklace, and remaining $14 dry when you go on the water rides.
- Your sister’s high school track meet. Good thing you didn’t wear that flimsy sundress to impress your old physics teacher who doubles as the hurdles coach and good thing you didn’t think he was waving at you and you waved back, when he was really coming over to smooch his super gorgeous wife who’s sitting right next to you and good thing you didn’t make that super guttural noise you make when you’re nervous/embarrassed, and good thing they totally didn’t notice. Fuckin’ good thing none of that happened.
- The company softball game where you totally impress your boss with your athleticism, but you may have let your competitive edge get the best of you when you called Georgia from accounting a “preppy dipshit” for missing that pop fly.
- Your grandparent’s cabin where you’re the oldest one sitting at the kids table because none of the adult cousins gave you the memo that they were all going to the Black Keys show in Minneapolis. Whatev, cousins, I, like, just saw them at Coachella and I’d rather swim the boat in to shore when we run out of gas in the middle of the lake for the second time in three days anyway! Plus, we had a sick Uno tourney and Uncle Bob bought us like six boxes of those things you throw on the ground that make that popping sound. Suck on that.