Wake up, slightly sweaty, hair still in ponytail, hoop earrings still in ears, phone underneath my body. At least I took my shoes off. Actually, I think I walked home barefoot, so I don’t really know where my shoes are, to tell you the truth.
Pick up ketchup bottle from the floor next to my bed, put it back in the fridge. I hope I wasn’t eating it on that half-eaten tortilla on my bedside table. C’mon Kelsey.
Drink the entire contents of the Britta water filter (from the pitcher itself). This thirst is way beyond cups.
Stick face under kitchen faucet. Drink that water, too.
Toy with the idea of taking a shower. Decide I really should shower. Gather shower items while pouting about decision like this. Sit down in shower, but only for a second, jeeze, lay off!
Drive to work. Stop at Super America for my “Sunday Survival Supplies” (3 bottles of Powerade Zero and a Milky Way). Whatev, Cashier! Like you’ve never accidentally drank 6 tallboys and then accidentally taken a double shot of Wild Turkey at last call. It was an ax-si-dent!
Serve people their brunch. Complain about everything (customers, weather, general state of my life, etc.). Mix a handful of Ibuprofen into the hashbrowns I stole from the kitchen.
Leave work. Think about going to the beach or working out. Decide I’ll do those things after I do some laundry.
Put in one load of laundry and fall asleep watching an iCarly marathon with my sunglasses on and one hand still in a bag of Tostito’s Scoops.
Wake up from nap. Feel guilty about wasting another Sunday. Promise myself that next Sunday will be different.
Put laundry in the dryer. Eat any and all leftovers in the fridge. Drink the whole Britta again. Pee for like 4 minutes straight. Go to bed.